Two Poems by Joel Landmine

Extended Metaphor

I’ve heard of these shamanic “power animals.”
Power animals are supposed to represent a person's connection to all life, their qualities of
character, and their power.

Bullshit modern people
have adopted a bullshit version
of this totemic belief.

Except these bullshit modern people
just make up their own
and pretend they’ve always had it,
that it means something to them.

So I’ve given it some thought,
and decided to join them.
I’m as full of shit as the next guy.

My power fucking animal

is the snail.
That means something to me.



Sometimes I Think the Fates Are Just Shitty Kids Shoving Firecrackers Up Cats’ Asses 
and Lighting Bags Of Shit On Fire On Your Stoop

“I have a dentist appointment
tomorrow at one.
Please, please, leave before or after that.
Please don’t leave me while I’m sitting at
the fucking dentist’s,
with those protective glasses
and that little fucking bib
I don’t think I can bear it.”

It was the last thing I ever asked of her.

“Oh baby,”
she cooed sweetly, kissing my scowling mouth,
“of course I can do that.
You know I wouldn’t do that to you!”

And guess what?