Tonight I saw a picture of myself smiling.
It was like coming across an old photo
of a friend that hung himself
or went off to war.
It shocked me at first.
I haven't thought of him in years.
That smile was really something
and the gap in the front teeth
was child like.
Even back then the eyes were turbulent
but veiled in pale blue laughter.
Tiny cities in a snow globe blizzard.
Shook by small hands.
And just imagine how much more they have seen since then.
Sojourner Truth said
man had nothing to do with Christ.
He came from God and a woman.
Both of which I ran off
they say they still love me but
need time to heal
from the wounds I gnashed into their flesh.
I spend many evenings watching television
shows about prison
and now it doesn't seem so Hollywood.
My cat sleeps on my chest
my heart pumping soothes her.
If only I could feel it.
I am a midget dancing
with a girl of normal height.
Someone watching over me
and matching my steps.
I was looking out the tall courthouse window
before I saw the judge this morning.
The tops of mountains were ripping through clouds
like super heroes in chains
the leaves draining to gold and shaking like organ pipes in church
reminded me everything dies
and we get used to it.
It may be a picture frame
the life you want
is always on the
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- ’Mishima’s Suicide’ by Matthew Coleman
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