Stinkin' Lincoln by Catfish McDaris

The fat supervisor
transferred up
north from Alabama

She had her eye
on me from
the minute
she walked in

I tried to keep
from staring
but with her
red dress

And long dangling
earrings she
was hard to miss

Sauntering over
to the area
where I was working

She laid her
fat arm on
my shoulder

I cringed in
disbelief at
her boldness

She wanted me
and I wanted
no part of her

Offering to drive
me home I declined

She tried to bribe me
with whiskey
and cigars

I refused everything

Finally she offered
to buy me a new
Lincoln Continental
on the condition

That I make love
to her I reluctantly
agreed

We went out to
the parking lot
and there was
that shiny boat

She got in
the backseat
removed all
her clothes

I must have got
acute nookie shock

I barfed all over
that funky bitch
and her sparkling
luxury automobile.